Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Teenage Zombie

With bleached blond hair, and an abundance of safety-pins, I honestly thought I looked mean and scary and tough.
I swaggered around the estate drinking beer and smoking both cigarettes as well as dope, and I felt like someone important, someone to be feared . . .
. . . but I was nothing more than a kid with the wieght of the world on his shoulders.

I wanted to be different, to stand out from the crowd, but most of all, I wanted to mask how I felt inside.

During my teens mum wasn't always in the best of health, (I often wonder if my behaviour played a part in that), and she was often in hospital.

During these times, dad would run the home; cooking us all dinner, shopping, and doing the other mundane tasks that helped to keep a home in order.

he asked me if I intended on visiting mum on an occassion when she had to have major surgery, "No" was my rude but simple reply.

I had to go to Stuart and karen's, and I didn't want to make Stuart angry by not turning up.

Stuart was a middle-aged man who, along with his wife, forced me to have sex with them - night after night.

I couldn't tell my dad this, and so I pretended to be an uncaring yob - when truthfully - all I wanted to do was visit my mum.

At fourteen, I should have been laughing and joking and having fun - but instead I was merely wandering around like a teenage zombie - lying to the world about how I really felt.

The abuse I was being subjected to by Stuart and Karen, (along with the teacher at school), were not just abusing me, but my entire family.

Eerytime I was toched by these people, they were not just interfereing with me, but my mum and dad too.

Child Abuse Destroys Entire Families - Do't Let It Ruin Yours!




  1. May God give you healing and restoration, and you in turn reach out to others that have been caught in this world. Thanks for being brave enough to share so others can heal.