Saturday, 4 February 2012

Physical Effects

Although many people choose to shy away from the actual acts of sexual abuse, I believe it's something which should be broached. Only then can we deal with it completely, and move on with life.

The Touch of Evil

All manner of thoughts fly around inside your head. You feel an intense fear, and a loathing for what's happening, but it is impossible to control natural bodily reactions. And it is those reactions which howl at you in the darkest of nights; nights when you lay in bed trying to understand why you found yourself reacting to the evil creatures that touched you.
At the exact point when you feel the touch, your skin begins to crawl. You feel bile begging to exit your body, and the blood pounds in your eardrums.
Personally, when this happened, I felt a scream inside me; a scream that was intent of escaping, and it took all the willpower in the world for me to suppress it.
Not only was the situation a waking nightmare, but the scream trapped inside of you eats away at your insides, and you feel as though you are being destroyed internally as well as on the outside.
Some of the time, I found myself doing as I was asked as quickly as possible, thinking in my mind that the quicker it was over, the better I would feel, albeit short lived.
When I was not being abused, maybe when I was at home, or at school, the touch remained burnt into my skin; a contsant reminder of what was to come later in the day.
Of course, that is when the anger manifested. The scream inside that was so desperate to be noticed would finally reach its goal......
...... just in time for the new one to errupt inside.
And these people did all of this for their pleasure.
Sye x

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